How can I work when I feel like this? It’s survival. It’s how I make my living. It’s a hassle to reschedule, and I might not feel any better on the day I reschedule to.
I go through the motions.
Automatic pilot.
Get all set up as usual. Go in there, put on cheerful teacher face.
Reach deep inside and pull out all the energy I can muster.
Seeing the kids, listening to their chatter and
their music, drowns out my pain and the noise in my ears.
I must focus with everything I have.
Laser attention.
I know I’m not at the top of my game, but I keep plugging away.
It blocks out all the stuff in the rest of my life.
Teaching is my safe place, my refuge, the best part of my life. It’s therapy.
It feels good to do something normal.
I do this for 4 or 5 hours. I’m totally wiped.
I go in the other part of the house.
The pain and the noise overtake me again and swirl through my brain.
Inner Voice 